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From birth to eighteen,

A place of loved ones,

Care, protect and teach.

Learn the lessons in which to grow.

Growth leads to becoming responsible.

Responsibility leads to independence.

Independence is lonely.

Don’t panic.

There is a cure.

LOVE!

Find love you’ll be in a place where you were before.

                                                                                    ...HOME

GONE

GONE…

Today felt different, cold, dark, lost, empty, broken, painful and closed.

“Life can be so unfair!” –My mother, who also was a second mother to him.

These are all thoughts and feelings I had when I woke up today, after receiving this news.  News that you never want to hear from the mouth of a father and a brother about a friend.

I sit right now, pen in my hand thinking that if I could let the ink flow onto this paper, all of this will suddenly pull a 180 turn and my heart will immediately stop hurting.

But still how do you cope and deal with a loss of a friend?  First, comes the ‘How?’, ‘Why?’, and ‘What?’ and they hit you hard right as the news drops.  You find that an emptiness hits you, for me it was like a ton of bricks.   I had known the empty was there because over the past few years because of outside interferences (time, schedule, work, etc.) lead this friendship into just random week to week Facebook status and likes.

The thing with a built friendship, is that it’s still there, true friendships find each other through the world and our hearts and never let go, even if the physical bodies aren’t near.

Actually, I had noticed more and more of these emptiness for a few weeks, there was even a remembrance Facebook post in which I went to his profile and dropped him a message about the good days of wrestling, so I felt that a reconnection needed to happen soon.  I found out that, it was going to be easier now to do so with the move up closer to family in a hospice.

It never happened.

Or did it, I sit here 24 hours later, I realize that I have reconnected to my friend.  Though, I didn’t reconnect face to face.  I know that he also can feel that indeed this friendship has connected and will last for eternity.

It’s a reconnection that has happened throughout today, social media can be the devil, but today it was a blessing.  As I had time I’d scroll through the newsfeed and see mutual friends, family and strangers (to me) talk about the memories of their fallen friend.  This memories then spawned my own memories and made me think the same good feelings we had together in those moments.

These remembrance pieces from everyone, had one key ingredient, it was that even though he’s gone, he’ll not be forgotten because everyone has him as a happy, positive, easy going and just a blast to be around kind of guy.  And this reminded me that these are the reason I become his friend in the first place, and it seems that’s why most did as well.

As the day rolled on, new memories scrolled through the day that began solemnly, slowly started to change.

It was beginning to become less cold, I could feel the warmth of his love all around me through the people that were sharing.

The darkness was being lit brighter from the shine that was his smile that so many people got to witness daily.

Different turned into knowing that we all are feeling the same way toward this wonder human being.

What started off as being lost, because of a fallen friend, turned to finder’s keepers and holding the memories of him tightly within.

And being empty and broken, started mending itself with all the memories of him in our hearts that will last a lifetime.

For some of use the painfulness is still there, and that’s okay, but after today it will slow heal and mend as we remember more and more memories of him, there is a lot of them out there, he was a part of so many lives, he made so many memories.

What will also heal our pain of this loss is knowing that he is no longer in pain, his suffering has finally found peace.   We will take the knowledge of his happy, positive self and know that he wouldn’t want use to pain over him for longer than we need too.

The world isn’t closed because we have lost him, the world has opened up more than ever.  We’ve seen that his adventure, beauty, positivity and strength has entered our lives, so that we can live our lives as we know he lived his.

Life may be unfair, some people may be taken from us too soon, but what we learn from that is the most powerful gift that that person could have given to us.

“Some people go too soon to remind us to appreciate life and the ones we love. It’s a shitty lesson.” –My girlfriend, who I know he would have adored and would have been happy to see me happy.

He definitely appreciated his short life and his loved ones, to the fullest.  With him as an example, we will do the same and appreciate our life and loved ones by keeping him in our hearts and taking him on all our future adventures.

He’s smiling right now, he always was smiling so smile with him.

…FOUND

REST IN PARADISE

Bryan Lilly

July 1, 1983 – December 7, 2015

My Favorite Teams All-Time Rosters: Seattle Mariners

And rounding out my sports themed All-Time Rosters, here is the MLB roster for the Seattle Mariners, all 9 positions w/ DH, and the SP rotation with relievers and a closer:

C - Dan Wilson
1B – Alvin Davis
2B – Bret Boone
SS – Alex Rodriquez
3B - Jim Presley
LF – Raul Ibanez
CF – Ken Griffey Jr.
RF – Ichiro Suzuki
DH – Edgar Martinez

SP – Randy Johnson
SP - Mark Langston
SP - Jamie Moyer
SP - Mike Moore
SP - Floyd Bannister

RP - Bill Caudill
RP - Mike Schooler
RP - Edwin Nunez

CP – Kazuhiro Sasaki

Manager – Lou Piniella
GM – Pat Gillick

My Favorite Teams All-Time Rosters: Seattle Seahawks

Here is my Offensive and Defensive Starting 11 for my favorite All-Time NFL team the Seattle Seahawks, Enjoy.
QB: Dave Krieg
RB: Shaun Alexander
RB: Curt Warner
WR: Steve Largent
WR: Brian Blades
TE: Itula Mili
LT: Walter Jones
LG: Steve Hutchinson
C: Art Kuehn
RG: Bob Newton
RT: Floyd Womack

DE: Jacob Green
DT: Cortez Kennedy
DE: Michael Sinclair
LB: Chad Brown
LB: Julian Peterson
LB: Terry Wooden
LB: Lofa Tatupu
CB: Dave Brown
CB: Marcus Trufant
S. Kenny Easley
S: Eugene Robinson

K: Norm Johnson

P: Rick Tuten

My Favorite Teams All-Time Rosters: Toronto Maple Leafs

Here is my 23 player roster for my All-Time Players for the NHL Original Six member, Toronto Maple Leafs.

Enjoy:




Owner- Conn Smythe
GM – Brian Burke
Coach – Hap Day
Announcer – Foster Hewitt

Captain: Darryl Sittler
Alternates: Borje Salming, Mats Sundin

1ST LINE
LW – Frank Mahovlich
C- Darryl Sittler
RW – Lanny McDonald
D – Borje Salming (Shoots L)
D – Tim Horton (Shoots R)

2ND LINE
LW – Wendel Clark
C- Mats Sundin
RW – George Armstong
D – Red Kelly (Shoots L)
D – Bob Baun (Shoots R)

3RD LINE
LW – Sidney James Smith
C- Dave Keon
RW – Charlie Conacher
D – Francis Michael "King" Clancy (Shoots L)
D – George Reginald "Red" Horner (Shoots R)

4TH LINE
LW – Tiger Williams
C- Doug Gilmour
RW – Tie Domi
D – Tomas Kaberle (Shoots L)
D – Dmitri Mironov (Shoots R)

GOALIES
G – Terry Sawchuk
G – Johnny Bower
G – Turk Broda

My Favorite Teams All-Time Rosters: Utah Jazz

Okay so I thought I'd make a list of my teams all-time rosters, that I think would be great.

First off here is the 12 man roster for the Utah Jazz.

Starters
PF - Karl Malone
SF - Byron Russell
C - Mark Eaton
SG - Adrian Dantley
PG - John Stockton

Bench
PG - Pete Maravich
PG - Deron Williams
SG - Jeff Hornacek
SF - Thurl Bailey
PF - Andrei Kirilenko
PF - Darrell Griffith
C - Mehmet Okur

Backspacer A Review

Okay so I haven't blogged in like forever, but since Pearl Jam's new album was released on Sunday, 20-September 2009. Available at your nearest Target store. I feel the need to review the album and give my thoughts on this album. So here you go, enjoy!

First off, I didn't pre-order a copy of the CD from 10Club, not that I didn't want to but I wasn't really sure if the 10Club version would get to me before the 20th, well it did and I might just order the book bound version from 10Club. But right now I have the Target version.

I've always liked that Pearl Jam goes against the norm and does cardboard type cases and not jewel cases. This one is even sweeter because the middle picture of the Tom Tomorrow album cover is cut out. The picture which is the brain in the jar is actually behind the cutout and on the CD sleeve.

Once you pull the CD sleeve out, you see a enlarged picture of all the members of pearl jam, cartoonized and they are hooked up via two wires to the brain. Wow, who knew pearl jam was run by MOTHER BRAIN.

Before placing the CD into the stereo lets go over the artwork. I like it, it's something different usually we have artwork done by Jeff Ament, his brother, or Eddie himself. This time they had an outside artist do the work.

Out of the 9 pictures from the front cover I can see symbolism of 5 of the 11 tracks of the album, maybe there is more or maybe it's just a coincidence in the pictures. The two obvious ones are Amongst The Waves, where a figure is lying amongst the waves, and Johnny Guitar, where a man sitting on a tricycle under women legs.

Now on to the name of the album and the way the letters of Pearl Jam are spelt out. We all know going back all the way to the Vitalogy days that Eddie has a thing for old school typewriters, if the lyrics aren't handwritten in the liner notes they are usually shown as typed from a typewriter; plus, we even have a hidden song called "Writer's Block" that is just the sounds of typewriter keys.

So having an album titled Backspacer pays homage to the past, and I think it goes even deeper where the sound that comes from this album goes back to the days of No Code, Yield and Binaural. So before we enter into my reviews of the songs: If you like those three albums I feel you'll love this album, it's like the missing link of Yield and Binaural.

Okay so enough about the coverart, let's get to the music.

Gonna See My Friend - Music & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder.
This song just jumpstarts this album, it tells you right up front that this is a Rock song and you are listening to pearl jam. And it keeps it upbeat and uptempo throughout the song and connects with the next 3 songs and if you don't take a break after getting ROCKED OUT to after the 4th song then you need to re listen to the first four tracks and make yourself get blown away.

I am not going to give stars or thumbsup to invidual songs what I will do will rank my love at the moment to all eleven of the tracks.

Up next,

Got Some - Music, Eddie Vedder & Lyrics, Jeff Ament
This song was the first song that we ever got to hear new by pearl jam this year, as they played this on the first ever episode of Conan O'Brien Tonight Show. This is one of the new songs that I can't wait to here live, it just has one of those great LIVE show atmosphere beat going. I feel like jumping rhythmically up and down and shaking my rock fingers in the air when this song starts playing.

My opinion this should have been the first single from this album, but that's just me.

The Fixer - Music, Matt Cameron/Mike McCready/Stone Gossard & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
The first single off this album and it's pretty silly if you ask me, the music is great but coming from a lyrical point of view it's just silly. The rhymes and just set up is just ridiculous almost in the style of Wishlist, but worse. The music should stay but change the lyrics, change the lyrics and you'll get a new song that probably goes in the exact opposite direction.

The direction that the Fixer goes in could be constructed as a political one and one that copycats Obama's Change. But really that's not it, I don't see any political messages in this album what's so ever, if you want political then listen to Riot Act and Avocado.

I feel that this sentiment is just life plans and changes, I like that you you don't like something you should see what you can do to fix it. But it's not just a government sentiment is just life in general and the choices you do and do not make that should be FIXED.

Johnny Guitar - Music, Matt Cameron/Stone Gossard & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
I like it and it keeps with the rockin' first part of this album. The only thing I have to say bad about this work is that it's pretty wordy and a pretty wordy song with a fast uptempo beat just doesn't gel well for me. And for that reason I don't see this song being a concert staple for more than just the Backspacer Tour.

Just Breathe - Music & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
Now time to switch gears let's drop down into the solemn slow gear and get a little and in the case of this song and for me A LOT emotional.

A week before this album was released my grandmother died, and I had already told my self that I wasn't going to listen to any songs before the release of this album. But this song and the prying of all my internet friends almost made me break my self holdout. This song is just beautiful and would have been a great song to play all day on Tuesday the day of my grandmother's funeral.

There aren't that many songs in the pearl jam discography that brings a tear to my eye, but this is one of two that does it (the other being Off He Goes).

Now if you weren't ROCKED OUT from the first 4 tracks of the album, then you'll be EMOTIONALLY BROKEN by the end of this song and the next two that follow. Wow can you say sway of emotions caused by just one pearl jam album? Damn you pearl jam quit playing with my emotions, *shakes fist*.

Amongst The Waves - Music, Stone Gossard & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
Okay so after I get done bawling my eyes out after Just Breathe, I get this song which just takes my frown and turns it upside down and makes me think of all the good things of my present life. I smile not to forget about the past (Just Breathe) but to just focus more with the present of this song. With the hustle of everyday life it's pretty hard just to sit back "amongst the waves" and just see things for what they are, more than not we all should do this and release that our life's and the world isn't that bad.

Unthought Known - Music & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
This song ends the emotional trifecta for me, I've self dubbed this three songs the LIFE TRILOGY. In which the first two were Past and Present, and this song the Future. Just as you're laying up looking at the Unknown of the universe on a cool fall night, you can just dive into your mind and think that your life isn't as Unknown as the universe you can make the future anything that you want it to be. All you have to do is get up and do it to reach the "distant shores awaiting your arrival".

Supersonic - Music, Stone Gossard & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
You'll be.... going out with radio, Going out with disco,. . .

Oh wait that's the other Stone Gossard guitar riff and vocals for Mankind off of No Code.

But I guess Stone liked the music so much that he wanted to play it more but didn't want to have to sing, he's kind of shy behind the microphone. So he probably told Eddie to make new lyrics for the same riffs.

And as you can see Supersonic is just so much better than Mankind. (female pearl jam fans, might disagree with this).

Speed of Sound - Music & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
I don't know how to read this song at all, I'm not sure what I'm feeling with it I mean it's pretty much an end of the album song. It could grow on me, we'll wait and see. but after being ROCKED OUT and EMOTIONALLY DRAINED from the first 7 songs and then brought back to life with the Mankind (part 2). I don't know if this is not the right song to place here or on the album.

We'll wait and see.

Force of Nature - Music, Mike McCready & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
Okay I thought that this was just going to be a continuation of a bad bottom of the album song. But it really builds up just like all the forces of nature and just hits you with a ton of bricks by the middle to end of the song and you remember your listening to a rock album and that you're listening to one of the best guitarists Mike McCready. Put an extended guitar solo in this.

The End - Music & Lyrics, Eddie Vedder
One of the best Album Closers, second to none. This song could translate well to a set closer, encore opener, or concert ender. This works so beautifully to play with your emotions one last time especially after being rocked out in LIVE form.


Now for the song rank from this album: (I've been listening to this album pretty much nonstop since Sunday at 11:00am.) It could change but here is my list:

1. Got Some
2. Just Breathe
3. Amongst The Waves
4. Unthought Known
5. Gonna See My Friend
6. The End
7. Supersonic
8. The Fixer
9. Johnny Guitar
10. Force of Nature
11. Speed of Sound


And as an Album here is where it ranks with the others:

1. Vitalogy
2. No Code
3. Yield
4. Backspacer
5. Binaural
6. Ten
7. Vs.
8. Avocado
9. Riot Act